Pet Peeves

1) people coming up to me at the store and asking, "do you work here?"

this happens all.the.time. no joke. apparently i have some kinda retail laborer look to me. i just don't get how people can mistake me for an employee when i'm pushing my own cart around too. did you think i'm on restock detail and was just returning unbought merchandise back to the shelves? i know it happens to a lot of us, but the frequency in which it happens to me is astonishing (yet, still not as often as i'm mistaken for being hispanic. i have a story about that too which i'll get to in a minute).

what's wrong w/ you people? i'm wearing a fuckin' jacket and i've been staring at the nutrition facts on this can of soup for 5 damn minutes. i know you saw me shopping, so what the hell? i have to assume that these people are too lazy to find an employee and are just hoping that the person nearest to them will help out. i suggest asking that person if they can help you and not if he/she works there. cuz they probably don't. hint: if in TARGET, look for a red shirt. name tags are a good sign too.

b) people taking advantage of you holding the door open.

everybody knows this one. when you're holding the door open for someone and somebody else sneaks in behind them without saying, 'thanks.' it's annoying. you people are annoying. they never put their hand out to grab the door, they just breeze on through as if they just made the train before it left. i don't need a 'thanks,' just your hand on the door to acknowledge that me holding it open wasn't necessarily meant for you. even worse is when you're holding it open for a slow, old lady and some jerk walks through in front of her instead of waiting two seconds. those jerks never say thanks either. dude, it's one simple word. got laryngitis? how about a head nod, then?


iii) being mistaken for hispanic.

don't get me wrong. nothing wrong w/ ANY nationality. but those close to me know how often this happens to me. it's not just that someone thinks i look 'spanish.' i'm of mixed race and that's a fair enough, but wrong assumption. what's annoying is when strangers start speaking spanish to me and think i'm kidding when i say i don't speak spanish/i'm not spanish. like i'm ashamed of my heritage or something. no, i'm not. it's not actually mine to be ashamed of. you made a mistake. get over it.
inevitably, those people who i correct then ask, "oh, then what ARE you?" in a manner that makes it sound like i must be from quargon five if not some latin country. i've bitched about this many times before. again, it's not that it's some insult to be assumed hispanic. it's that no one EVER sees asian or black in me. i hate that people are shocked i'm not what they first assumed. sorry to disappoint you. maybe you have to be mixed to understand. my mixed friends do. my white friends just say, 'well, you do look spanish. what's the problem?' to that i say, it's not a problem. it's just an annoyance at this point since i'm ALWAYS thought to be in denial of something. someone actually told me that i should learn spanish because i look spanish. this came from a girl who tried talking to me in her native language and was surprised that i couldn't understand her. she's right... it's totally my fault that we couldn't communicate better. god forbid she should learn better english.

We all come across people and make conclusions about them that may or may not be fact, but there's always the chance that we're wrong. i just think it's best not to express those thoughts to people you don't know. cuz i'm sick of the people w/out a 'this sounds prejudiced' filter who do that constantly... especially 70yrold caucasians who like to loop all minorities into one category (that category being 'you're not from here like I AM.' yeah, actually... i am. which you would know if you took the same amount of time talking to me as it took you to blurt out the wrong thing after simply looking at me. i usually say nothing back because i know they'll be dead a lot sooner than i'll probably be. hey, that's the harsh truth. when i'm told bigoted shit to my face like it's nothing, it obviously stays w/ me, so please tell your friends to keep those thoughts to themselves.

more and more people are mixing up the races and i think that's great! whenever my sister and i see a mixed couple, we're like, 'hope they make a baby! one more for our team!' seriously, folks. what are you afraid of?


quatro) strangers telling me i should quit smoking.

no shit. we all know of the hazardous consequences that go along w/ this habit, but you telling me i should quit ain't gonna make it happen. all it is is you being annoying. we've heard it before and it obviously didn't help. same as with any other bad habit, everyone needs to decide on their own to quit in order for it to happen.
i don't appreciate you scaring me w/ mentions of lung cancer and second-hand smoke. i'm very mindful of non-smokers around me and lung cancer can happen to anyone. i'm in the medical field and i can't tell you how many folks w/ lung cancer never smoked a day in their lives. or the number of so-called health and exercise nuts who have cardiac problems. or the people who watch their diet due to family medical history and still end up with hypertension and/or diabetes. if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. sure, you can try to better your health. i absolutely support you in trying. but you also can't predict what kind of bad health or death will befall you. some might say it's already been planned.

bottom line is: stop telling me to quit smoking. i don't even know you. i'll quit when i'm good and ready. we all have vices. mine are certainly of no concern to a stranger. for all i know, you like kiddie porn.

oh, and if you're a drug user, DEFINITELY stop telling me to quit. you're high... why should i to listen to the advice you have for me? snort that.

five) after i sneeze, some stranger saying, 'oh don't get me sick.'

how's about 'g'bless you?' it's a bit more polite, jackass.

yet another) when actors forget that their characters have accents.

yeah, i'm lookin' at you, keanu. you too brad. and screw you, julia. you're all getting paid faaar too much money to not be on top of these things. as a matter of fact, everyone on the set around you gets paid more than i do on their day off. one of them shouldn't be too scared to at least remind someone else that 'you're from the south now.' so speak like it. cuz if i closed my eyes, i'd swear you're from malibu. $20 million per movie, my broke ass. i could probably get that scene right if i had 30 takes to do so too. but i'd only demand $5 million. cuz i'm humble like that. nooch.